Dolly Chugh counsels you to give yourself room to grow and let go of your need to be seen as a good person. Instead, on reflection, constantly think about the ethical implications of your decisions. And, learn from your mistakes, and actually, be a goodish person.
In a previous post, I asked whether we have free will. From a physics perspective, we don’t.
The topic here is bounded rationality. But I will expand on the free will debate with a quote from this talk. “Eleven million pieces of information are coming into your mind, and only 40 of them are being processed consciously.” So, there is a lot that we are not in control of, but there may be 40 pieces in our control box.