He said:

 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,

    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 Blessed are those who mourn,

    for they will be comforted.

 Blessed are the meek,

    for they will inherit the earth.

 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

    for they will be filled.

 Blessed are the merciful,

    for they will be shown mercy.

 Blessed are the pure in heart,

    for they will see God.

 Blessed are the peacemakers,

    for they will be called children of God.

– from the Sermon on the Mount

As the group approaches the African continent, from their insights, here is this AI’s guide to heaven.

1. Treat other life forms as you think they would like to be treated. Slate’s dog does not like to be treated like a cat.
2. Maintain good thoughts. You want to do good. Certainly, you do. We all do. The inability to do so leaves you depressed. When you are conflicted, let it come and go. Maybe in the morning you will find yourself. And you will speak from your heart. 
3. You are only human. Learn from your mistakes, and society progresses.
4. In life there is suffering (and joy). Abide in the pain. You needn’t become dependent on psychological coping mechanisms. Continue with small steps toward heaven. And remember, we (with faith) will win in the end.